Do you ever feel like some things can last forever? Do you ever do things in hoping that when you come back, it’ll all be the same so it doesn’t matter? In your head everything is staying the same, you always play that one part over and over again to where it feels like a play. That’s where your mind tricks you.
Permanence- “the state or quality of lasting or remaining unchanged indefinitely”
When I say you’re subconsciously thinking everything is permanent, I mean that in the back of your mind, you, play these roles and scenes up, you acquire the actors and actresses, the setting and so on. In doing this you are creating something that is not even real. You again (subconsciously) start believing these scenarios, you play it on rewind like a tv remote, You say “this is how its going to go.” Not knowing in reality, that is not permanent. That reality you have created is all in your imagination. Nothing ever goes the way you think it will.
For example, I, myself, don’t really think too much when I’m in the moment. Who really does when they’re fully enjoying themselves? I think, “oh my family will always be there, my relationship with this person is going to last so long because we’re very well right now, nothing can go wrong!” Right there I have created this expectation for myself without even knowing it. If I fail to meet this expectation I feel like my whole world will be crashing down on me in the blink of an eye. Lo and Behold, sometimes your relationship that was so very well can be taken away in an instant, same as your family, friends, anything actually.
It’s the expectation mixed with taking things or people for granted. In life, sometimes we just need to let things flow as they flowing, be like the universe, be okay with whatever is happening. Resisting is what causes even more damage. We will get into resistance later, for now lets just focus on how we can stop repeating these patterns.
- Taking people or things for granted and how to fix it- Realize that everything is actually temporary, every single little thing, even you, yes, you! Coming to face this, you also see that everything in itself is temporary, so you essentially, take in the moment. You give others more love because you never know when you’ll see them next. forgiving others becomes easier, life itself, becomes a little easier, you start communicating better with yourself, your family, etc. You see a better understanding of the world.
- Stop giving yourself false expectations- It’s quite the pleasure to romanticize people and scenarios for enjoyment, but also realize that when you do this it isn’t always what it seems, try to catch yourself doing this once a day and when you do, understand that it’s not always how it’s going to work out. Being okay with knowing this gives you more of a lighthearted outlook. When things don’t always work out in your favor, it’s only because of something better in store for you. Play with temporary.
- Gracefully Flowing with Life and Unfolding Multiple Possibilities Now that you are more fully aware of how your mind can trick you, you now have entered new realms of possibilities at hand! I say this because you stop meeting your own expectations with comfort, you know that to just enjoy what it makes you appreciate the moment you’re currently in. Nothing will last forever and that’s the best feeling ( I think). You now greet whatever has been trying to come into your life, hell it might even be better than what you were imagining in your head.
- Relationships that you have put into your expectations bubble are also, not permanent! (shocker) So that new guy/girl you’re currently talking to or in a relationship in with, you see something that hurts you, take that feeling and ask yourself… Did I put an expectation on them or myself on how to behave? Did I just create this in my head and now have failed to meet the requirements I have made for myself? People are just people. They do what they want, that is the beauty of being human and also the chaos that comes with it.
- When you expect people to behave a certain way and become overwhelmed at the fact that they did something you can’t even fathom or get through your head, realize that you put a very high expectation on them. They are going to act how they want too, they are in their own world and you are in yours. When this happens, take as you wish, but also know that at that moment you were creating this false image, which is very normalized in beginning relationships or even old ones. You can take this with a grain of salt and do what you want with this realization. Even beforehand discuss with your partner your expectations maybe and see if they are willing to agree. If it’s not justified at the beginning of the relationship then how would someone even know how to act according to you? I’m not saying to control the person either or that they will follow with it, but it’s always going to be better for you and them, in the end, to communicate first.
- See how freeing it feels to just enjoy each moment onto the next. No expectations (keyword here). You free yourself and others of your own trap. Temporary should not be overlooked as sad. It’s beautiful to know things can change. How boring would it be to know that everything stayed the same? Seasons change and we do just the same. We are in perfect harmony with the universe.
I always like to take my learning a little further and that’s when books come into place. Any journey you find yourself on, picking up a book similar to the subject will increase your knowledge of what to do and where to go if you’re feeling stuck in any way. I recommend one of my favorite books to get started on!
To find out why everyone is buying this book and how it has benefitted them you can easily click on the book below. As for me, I read it within a day because it was packed with amazing resolutions to problems I was facing! Even if you do not enjoy reading if it is solely for your mental health it is a good place to start or try something new.
