Love… Perhaps we have felt it, seen it, or heard the term “I love you” before. From a loved one or some of your close friends, but the thing is we often look and try to find love in all the wrong places. Sometimes love can accompany illusions and misconceptions, which can process into becoming afraid of loving something or someone again. We say we will never be able to love someone like we loved that person, but life has a whimsical way of proving us wrong and giving us a better path to choose from, choices that we would have never expected. However, we must break down what love is not before we understand what love can blossom into and can be from a yogic point of view.
Love is not
A person meeting all of our expectations and more. I think it’s also common for people who are in long term relationships to feel like everything is going wrong because there are no more “butterflies” or passion, the truth is, this is completely normal and relationships take effort and strong commitment not just to that person, but to the strong belief of love. We look up to Hollywood films like ‘The Notebook’ or ‘Pretty Woman’ with an appeal that represents exactly how love should always feel and look. This is not true in any way, we’re the ones who define this concept of what love is and what it means to us. Love doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone. Just like our love for something that we thought we would be passionate about fades, let’s say, for example, creating art… we have to work at it every day and give ourselves time to warm up to it and from within our love will flourish. We can think of love as a plant we have to water, some plants take more time to bloom when others only need watering once every month, and just like the plant, it really depends on our own unique paths in life!
The limits of love are not constricted to one idea
We can also take our attention to the limit we think love has – In reality, It has no limits, we tend to think we have a limited amount of love to give and receive and this is simply not true. It’s something as with time, we have constructed. You won’t ever run out of love, it’s planted in your body and goes where you wish, but we must remember that love is not coming from the outside source. We get into that thinking of “he/she makes me feel so loved, I never thought I could love someone so much!” However, if we take them away from this equation with what we perceived as love, then, will be convinced to say we have no more of it – we project this idea on others. The truth is that they have awakened it from within us… Think, where did that love stem from in the first place? Inside of us! We can give as much love as we want, it’s a clear, infinite ocean to drink from and give to. There’s always more to go around.
Most of our experiences are limited by our perception or psyche – what we process is filtered through the mind and ego, giving us an insight or glimpse thinking that love is a separateness or a certain kind of flavour. Human experience portrays a picture of love to change based on our moods and attachments. Once we bring that yogic awareness, we will see that we were projecting love onto something else. As Thích Nhất Hạnh said, ” One of the greatest gifts we can offer people is to embody nonattachment and nonfear. This is a true teaching, more precious than money or material resources. Many of us are very afraid, and this fear distorts our lives and makes us unhappy. We cling to objects and to people like a drowning person clings to a floating log. Practicing to realize nondiscrimination, to see the interconnectedness and impermanence of all things, and to share this wisdom with others, we are giving the gift of nonfear. Everything is impermanent. This moment passes. That person walks away. Happiness is still possible.” Or simply, if we think love comes from outside ourselves- we will suffer. Learn to swim in the awareness and bring that love back into yourself, it was always there, people come and go all of the time, but we realize as we are taking this step back we see the love in different forms, but all the same – that love remains.
Choosing love as a practice.
How can we practice love everyday?
The practice of love as we said before is like watering a plant, to keep a plant healthy and flourishing it requires soil, seeds, a source of nutrition, light, and quality space. Just like us, we require the same needs, with a bit more conscious activity and communication. We can start by planting the soil – actions of love. The actions of love are kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. Then we can plant the seed of love and water it with these qualities of life, giving ourselves the space to reflect, heal and find unity with everything around us. Acting in love is what will initiate the feeling of love, once we act in love there comes the absolute love which is the source of everything, it’s the essence of what love is.
How can we offer our best loving being to ourselves and others every day with the actions of love?
Think in the way we speak to people, or give to others like for example, being attentive to what the other person is saying, that means the whole focus is on them with no judgment coming from our end. My favourite piece of advice I was given by one of my teachers was to say “I love you” to every person that walks by in my mind. As I speak to someone I like to utter these words throughout the conversation, which changes the situation, in my opinion. It makes me feel more joyful, giving, and lighter. Give it a try and tell me what you think, of course this question is your own way to reflect and it will be different for everyone!
SatCitAnanda – A powerful mantra for love
It translates into pure beingness, consciousness, the essence of joy, and love. We can use this mantra when we’re feeling down and need to be reminded of the Absolute Love around us.
Yoga does not change the way we see things, it transforms the person who sees.
B.K.S Iyengar
neena this is so beautiful !! proud of your growth girl
Thank you for reading! I appreciate this very much 🙂