We spend every day with ourselves, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Most of our decisions and the way we view ourselves are based on how we speak to ourselves inside. It’s a reflection that can either have us worrying, ruminating, and judging. However, what if we can use this language as a tool to navigate ourselves and the world? What if instead, It can be a tool to help us problem-solve? We can maintain self-control. It can become a tool to explain our experiences and identities instead of criticizing and judging our experiences and who we are. If we don’t accept ourselves for who we have become from our past mistakes, then we will not give ourselves the chance to blossom into a better understanding of who we could be.
Most of the problems that can occur while having an inner critic are overthinking events that already happened and having them perpetuated and even exaggerated. We can have low self-esteem because of how drastic we can put ourselves down when trying to do even the simplest of things like walking down the street, Thoughts such as “I look so so stupid right now, the way I’m walking, I have to fix myself, why do I walk like this? Have I always walked like this?” it can even cling onto our partner or relationships with friends, having the inner criticism become the voice of reason in our lives, mimicking them and criticizing what they say or do. We can also become irritable at ourselves and others for being critical in a way that is not problem-solving, so how do we switch the roles of being so critical to befriend the voice inside of our heads to become solution based?
Opportunities have arrived to befriend our inner critic. Here are some tools to do so:
- Flipping the dialogue – if we ask ourselves why is our inner voice behaving this way, it leaves a silence and helps us understand ourselves and where we might have created this inner voice, that might not even of belonged to us.
- A foe into a friend – this inner chatter can be replaced with a much sweeter, calmer, and smoother tone. We can think of how a close friend or someone in our life that we find supportive, how would speak to us.
- Routine or ritual – we love to find self-control, and amid the chaos, there is some order that can be found. How do we find order? We create a ritual or routine. This for me is yoga, breathwork, and writing, something to release my inner world and externalize it to better understand myself.
- Letting your inner critic exist– we can simply observe our inner voice and talk to it, if we listen to it, it will mostly judge something we do or say, we can simply say “there’s the judgment again, is this supporting me or belittling me?”
- Awareness and Meditation – becoming aware is the first and also the last step to befriending and soothing the inner critic, here is a meditation that can be useful: https://www.mindful.org/basic-meditation-tame-inner-critic/ and my favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itZMM5gCboo&t=18s a self-acceptance meditation, who doesn’t want more self-love in their lives?
These are unique tools we can use to change the narrative of how we speak to ourselves and how it can change the way we view relationships in life and of life, with ourselves and others. Befriending and soothing the inner critic flips our worlds into a beautiful, lovely, and eccentric point of view instead of a judgmental and harsh view. Not only does it change the way we can speak to ourselves, but the entire world that encompasses it. Remember that this is not a one-size-fits-all, it’s about finding the unique tools that support us and finding the right combinations to ensure a friendlier chatter that goes on in our heads.
Together, we are learning to forgive and accept ourselves for who we truly are every day… As Seneca said, “Do not trip over what is behind you.”
Let me know how this works for you and how you soothe your own voice.
Neena
xx
