Traveling was always this mysterious, exciting, enticing thing I seemed to always have carried within my heart ever since I was little, even if it was small distances from here to there or as I aged in my teens, I would drive my car around hours away from one city or state to the next. The biggest change in my life and mental health happened when I traveled the world. I wanted a change of scenery, something to wow me, and yes, something to distract me… To make me see that what I’m seeing is not all that is out there. I wanted to shift my thinking and who I was, who I thought myself to be. I wanted to break down my character and my illusion of what I thought the world could be. Besides finding these when I began traveling, it became much more than I could have ever imagined. A part of me was broken and a part of me was healed – my heart, my soul…I admit I went a little crazy, but what does sanity mean?
5 things traveling has taught me throughout these 6 years.
- The world is a nicer place than I thought
Before I started traveling, I had this idea that the world was a cruel, harsh place destined to just live, work, and die (dark aspect here, I know, but I’m only stating my truth). As I started traveling I learned people want to help anyway, they can if you let them, and that was a big problem for me back then. I wanted to be so independent that I didn’t want to ask for help, but when I’m in a place, I do not know and did not understand the language; I had no choice, and people are always willing to show people how things work in their country.
2. As an “introvert” I bloomed more into my extroverted side
While traveling, especially for several years, I always needed my space, my energy, and my own time. I didn’t care to meet new people, I just wanted to immerse myself in the world and be like a fleeting ghost upon the ground I was walking on. However, two years ago, I made friends from traveling and the benefits of doing so, which opened me up from my shell completely. This helped to let people in and learn about them, which is one of my favorite things, so now I can let it shine through without having to feel like I always need to hide away from the world.
3. Friends, Friends, Friends – The exceptionally important part of this journey for me
When I was younger, I felt like I had many friends but, after a while, I think I always needed the space to seclude and hide away myself, and that was for several years until I met my wonderful friends in Guam, it was a lovely girl group I connected with instantaneously, and I held that before back in high school, but forgot the feeling of what it was like to have that around all the time. The sense of strong, beautiful, fascinating, funny women around is one of the best gifts on earth. They showed me how important friendship is and could be and all that it could blossom into. To this day I still feel so lucky as if I have hit the friend lottery with them, they tore open a lot of barriers I put up towards people, and I am forever grateful to have met them as it was a vast transition in my life to be more open towards having friends. If I never met them I’m not sure I would be where I am mentally and emotionally today!
4. Becoming more sure and trusting of myself
I always was pretty confident – may be overly courageous in taking care of myself and demanding it to be known how self-sufficient I could be. I don’t see that as a good thing in every aspect because I never would let others help me through the dark times I was going through despite the other parts such as trusting myself to learn how to read signs, people, situations, riding a moped, even. Besides understanding how to form some sort of plan to travel from here to there (especially during covid). My sense of confidence and healthy courage have struck me and I no longer experience intense anxiety from stressful situations that involve traveling or people. It has taught me to stay calm and trust my intuition, that I will keep myself safe.
5. My heart will break thousands of times folded over
Let’s be real, As much as traveling has healed me in ways and has cracked and opened my heart, it has also broken it – many, many many times. I think the realization of seeing people and knowing you might never see them again always catches up to me, or feeling nostalgic about a place I just was and the memories I had that I won’t make again, or perhaps meeting someone while traveling, falling in love, and it not working someway or another and having to split apart- that they go back to their world, and I to mine. The mere aspect of never seeing them again. You are saying goodbye to that person forever and who they are right now… as in following a grieving process in death almost (I know it sounds dramatic, but this is undoubtedly how I feel). Some places will rip you to shreds, and for me that was Scotland – It brought up darkness I kept hidden within me for years.
I swear by this: If you travel and you immerse yourself in a place for a while, you will notice your energy shift with that place as well and find what it brings up for you.
**I can also say I cry for places more than anything else. I think of Thailand and tears swell up. When I left Scotland, I was crying on the way to the next place. The thing is, I just never know when I am finished somewhere and it could always feel unfinished and I do not know when I will ever be back. I’m crying for the person it has made me become, and for that, I might lose to go to the next place. Heartache all over.
Therefore, traveling to me is not just about going point to be and becoming a tourist, although I am, It’s more of an experimental process of what each place makes me become and finding the one that makes me feel right at home in my heart, but it can be hard when you make a home out of every place you go to. It has not only broken down society’s norms for me but it has shown me a way to live that may not be accepted by everyone, but it is the right way for me, and that’s all that matters. Making the best out of life’s experiences and taking from each place what I can and making it a part of my soul. It’s like living out of my heart’s experience instead of my mind, and traveling can help determine which one we are listening to at all times. It doesn’t have to be for everyone, and you may experience these feelings just by staying in one place and that’s okay, As long as we’re growing towards love and understanding eachother, the world, and ourselves, then it is right.
Hope you enjoyed this read! Let me know your experiences and how traveling helped you.
Neena x
