Here is a storytime for all of my readers that are fearing something that they must do or are completely avoiding the thing. The THING.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
Please have a seat and grab a cold beveragé, because this is about to ignite your heart and dismiss your fear’s thoughts.
As a constant daydreamer, I’ve visualized these details of my life and how they would pan out. Personally, I would say most of them became true so far, not in the way I always thought they would, of course.
However, this THING was like a gravitational pull toward humiliation and failure to me, but also complete freedom and power, it’s just that…My fear was greater.
Oh, shit… I look at myself through my partner, thinking I must be a disgrace.
There I was, having a complete, utter mental breakdown as I was practicing to do the THING. I became overwhelmingly flustered and doubtful. I felt disgusted with myself; I did not feel like a human; it was like I was morphing into a monster my thoughts created from the inside out. Panic was the only thing I could do. I felt like such an idiot for taking on the opportunity.
Everything I heard inside of my head was that I was a fraud, that I didn’t know what I was doing, that people will know and get angry at the fact that I was even trying to do the thing. That I would walk out in tears, or I would immediately run away before I got the chance to even show up for anyone or myself.
I’m facing in front of my partner, with a heart that is racing along with my thoughts, who was completely supportive of me in this state (I was in utter shock and disbelief and fear, total fear). Thankfully, I had him snap me out of that state eventually and get me to practice the THING. (The truth was before this, I thought that I wouldn’t need the practice because I was expecting myself to quit or find a way out of it, here I was the night before, with no way out)!
Psst – we can also try to befriend our inner critic instead of quieting it. Which helps in times of panic. I wrote about it here:https://providingtruth.com/self-wellness-7/ and a self-development plan to focus more on your goals, one step at a time – https://providingtruth.com/self-development-plan/
I take a full deep breath; I let go of the expectations I had of myself of being perfect.
If they didn’t like me, then fine! At least I had to see if I could do it, or if it was actually for me. No matter what, I will feel better on the other side, even if right now I’m feeling lost, resentful, and angry.
Because there were too many lists of what if’s I wrote it off again for the (17th)? Time. I would not only resent myself, but I would never know what it would be like to step over fear, to take heart. To listen to my heart instead of my head. I would feel even more like a hypocrite because that is what my blog, my values, and my life leads from. The heart!
The next day, I went in there, still shaking, but willing to try… willing to step on the other side and I walked in knowing things would never be the same.
My life was changing right there in front of my eyes. In knowing that, I know I made the right choice. My courage became greater than my fear. My heart was leading, my mind became silent. I showed you, you! (as in me).
Okay, let me tell you what that THING was. It was teaching yoga. That was the most loved and feared dream I’ve ever had, Besides speaking in front of people, leading people, and remembering each pose to get into, it was ultimately because I had to face myself. The other side of my fear.
Courage.
I knew it was the choice that was going to set my heart and my mind on fire. There was a pull to run and there was an even greater pull (underneath the fear I had to stand up to) to do it, anyway. To stand up and fight for myself. It was a choice to say YES when all I wanted to do was say NOOOO THANKS, I’ll leave that to someone who is better than me!
Sometimes we forget that the people who we look up to or that we dream of becoming might be a final product in our mind, we must remember the journey as well. It will be a struggle sometimes, especially with our own hearts and minds, but we are so worth saying yes to. When we choose our hearts, the only path the heart will lead is to love, to love ourselves, and to love and accept ourselves where we are in that moment, no matter what.
We will find the power, it’s like gaining another confidence point. Even if it didn’t go to plan, you will be rejoicing with your heart that you listened to it anyway. The act of doing so is complete and absolute freedom.
Do the thing.
Because doing the thing means you’ll be on the other side of fear. You will start to create more opportunities, and you’ll start to diminish your fears, no matter how big or small. You can do it. Say Yes to your heart and lean into it. It’s important to take courageous acts to build those confidence muscles, heart muscles, and intuition as well!
If you would like to share your experiences and how you took the leap of courage, no matter how big or small it seems, please share below to help others also begin their journey into power and courage!
See you in The Portal of Power.
