Heartbreak is mourning over someone who is still alive.
I think it’s fair to say we might of all had a share of break-up stories. It could be between two friends or two lovers. Either way, it’s just as painful as the other. We could spend months or years thinking about the person and trying to think of ways to get them back. However, the truth is, we give away our life and our time to that person. Creating false hopes and expecting the other person to be a certain way we have molded them in, a pure illusion. This can cause a detriment to our mental health which can lead to physical ailments as well. I am not claiming to be a relationship counselor or a love doctor, but with my personal experience, I can say I have endured many heart thrashing breakups where I thought it was never going to end. My days would be filled with agony and pain, tears filled every space of my day thinking that this void I was trapped in with no future leading me halfway to nowhere. If this sounds like you right now, I want you to know you’re not alone. The solution here is to release and let go of the person, not pretend or act like you moved on with secret intentions of getting back together.
Therefore, the first step is to accept that we truly want to release this person. We can not move forward if we don’t take this step. So, how can we break through this and gracefully move past this period with unconditional love and care?
Note: From my personal experience I can clarify that this indeed works above everything else I have ever tried and I would also like to add that agreeing to not contact someone or checking their social media for six months helps this process immensely.
Steps:
- Accept that we want to release this person (as was stated above). We can take the time to journal or write down somewhere why it is better to let go of this person rather than holding on, think of the pain it has caused you and choose to see that this is enough. Choose to accept that it has happened. Resisting creates more tension and pain.
- Write down all of the reasons why it didn’t work out and what needs weren’t met.
- Write a letter to that person, putting all feelings and emotions into this letter with no holding back.
- Reread it out loud and visualize them standing with you
- Next, Imagine scissors cutting the cords between you both, the cords might come from the heart, the stomach, or anywhere you see… They might be hard to cut at first by the thickness, but keep holding the visualization and proceed until it finally cuts. This might take more time.
- After, sit with it. You can say thank you to the person or whatever comes to you at that time. Usually, heavy emotions will arise and you will begin to release the tension that was underlying beneath the surface, sometimes you won’t even realise how much you were holding in!
- Lastly, If you have a torch, go somewhere where you can burn the letter you wrote and imagine the words lifting off of your shoulders and into the air. Feel the weight of everything you said being released.
This might sound a bit crazy to a few, but to keep an open mind and really give your best efforts and intentions behind the work is what makes all the difference. Give it a purpose to do what you suggsted for your intentions to do. Make it a ritual, give it meaning.
Be patient and let the emotions settle for a couple of days, like a sickness it takes some time to recover from… In the meantime, refrain from checking up on them at all.
The After Process:
Since we worked on releasing the other person, I think it’s only fair if we also realise how we can become better for ourselves and bring self awareness into the equation.
We can make a list of things we overreacted to, or that we would like to work on to become more aligned with our true nature.
What did this person teach us and what can we learn from it? Perhaps, a quality that we might have been lacking or something that we loved about them.
For the quality or qualities that we picked, we can go ahead and ask ourselves how we can pour more of that into our own lives.
Please let me know your experience,
I wish you a caring and comforting journey through this,
Neena at ProvidingTruth
